<![CDATA[Great Marriage]]>https://www.greatmarriage.comhttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hkPH!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fefd896af-d8d6-48b4-904b-13a6ae0c9952_864x864.pngGreat Marriagehttps://www.greatmarriage.comSubstackFri, 19 Jun 2026 18:17:27 GMT<![CDATA[Me Too! Perfectly Timed Empathy]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/me-too-perfectly-timed-empathyhttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/me-too-perfectly-timed-empathyWed, 17 Jun 2026 11:31:32 GMTIn Great Marriage, we’ve written several recent posts on empathy. Fun fact, we did that independent of one another. John sent me his two posts the day after I had written two posts on the subject. I took it as a good indicator that we had been paying attention in our prayer life and within the observations in office.

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]]><![CDATA[Me Too! Poorly Timed Empathy]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/me-toohttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/me-tooSat, 13 Jun 2026 12:00:46 GMTEmpathy is a core characteristic of healthy relationships. Without it, it’s hard to go deep in connection with another person. Without empathy, people stay in the shallow end of the pool when it comes to sharing and trusting.

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]]><![CDATA[The Bedrock of Relational Success]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/the-bedrock-of-relational-successhttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/the-bedrock-of-relational-successWed, 10 Jun 2026 11:31:28 GMTNot long ago, an online order I placed for an upcoming event went wrong. I needed it on time, but the customer service rep couldn’t promise that. I was frustrated; and I made sure he knew it.

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]]><![CDATA[An Exercise in Empathy]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/an-exercise-in-empathyhttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/an-exercise-in-empathySat, 06 Jun 2026 12:00:57 GMTAn Exercise in Empathy

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]]><![CDATA[Tears]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/tearshttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/tearsWed, 03 Jun 2026 11:30:38 GMTIn counseling, when tears appear, I slow down. Whether signaling as a caution light or a stop sign, they send a message of tread differently – lightly. Change the pace. Be more aware of what is taking place other than what is simply being spoken. Tears have their own language; as a counselor, I learn to speak it.

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]]><![CDATA[Summer Themes]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/summer-themeshttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/summer-themesSat, 30 May 2026 11:31:00 GMTIn Great Marriage, fun is foundational. If you’re missing it, you’re missing out.

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]]><![CDATA[Rot and Neglect]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/rot-and-neglecthttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/rot-and-neglectWed, 27 May 2026 11:30:51 GMTA few weeks ago I left an apple on our back porch. It was already barely hanging on in the fruit bowl, and I thought it would make good food for the wildlife. A disconnect between the kitchen and the raccoons happened when I got distracted by our dog, Jake. I set it on the ledge, forgot it, and there it sat — neglected and rotting.

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]]><![CDATA[Gestures or Expectations]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/gestures-or-expectationshttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/gestures-or-expectationsSat, 23 May 2026 12:02:31 GMTDo you remember when you started seriously dating your spouse?

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]]><![CDATA[Expectations: Again? ]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/expectations-againhttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/expectations-againWed, 20 May 2026 11:30:48 GMTI recently posted on expectations and how they get a bad rap. (For more insight scroll the archives and read Expectations.)

In marital counseling, unhealthy expectations are a common source of disappointment, bitterness, and deep resentment. If expectations are unhealthy, they can gut marriage like a fish.

silver and red fish on ice

To facilitate, I’ll repost the attributes of unhealthy expectations:

  • Unmet

  • Unrealistic

  • Unfair

  • Unclear (not communicated)

  • Inflexible (rigid)

  • Not Shared (one-sided)

In Great Marriage, we encourage you to read through the list carefully, prayerfully. Be honest about the expectations in your marriage and how they are shaping your interactions. Have candid discussions about the how, when, and what of change.

  • When it comes to expectations, be reliable. Meet them. If you take on a responsibility, be responsible.

  • If an expectation is unrealistic, discuss it. Reform it. Avoid the mistake of trying to succeed at something that is set up for failure. And consider the variable of age as that affects expectations.

  • Be fair. I know someone reading is rolling their eyes with a life is not fair perspective. Okay, I can give you that, but marriage should embody a sense of fairness. A sense of mutual support, teamwork and respect.

  • Your spouse cannot read your mind. (Read that one again) If you fail to communicate an expectation it can be hard to meet. This is not groundbreaking news, yet mind reading is the most common mistake we see in expectations.

  • Rigid expectations need to be handled with wisdom and Christlike care. There is a place and time for flexibility or not. Avoid controlling behavior or a lack of empathy.

  • Expectations are shared. Each person is involved, invested in the marriage 100%. The execution of things like folding laundry and washing the dog may not be 50/50, but expectations should not be a solo experience.

The results of unhealthy expectations are varied. Yet, my experience in marital work has taught me that unhappiness is the short-term result and bitterness and deep resentment are the long- term strongholds that build over time.

In Great Marriage, talk openly about your expectations. Revisit them as needed. Catch problem areas early before they go wrong. Don’t wait until your love story has been gutted like a fish to get the help you need.

Blessings,

Jo

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]]><![CDATA[Great Truth]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/great-truthhttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/great-truthSat, 16 May 2026 12:01:28 GMT

This has long been a favorite quote. I teach it; I write about it; and I whisper it to myself frequently not as a way to puff myself up, but solely as a way to remind myself of God’s far-reaching, steadfast love for me. In life — in the up, down, sideways, gone south way of life— one needs reminding.

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]]><![CDATA[Be in Love]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/be-in-lovehttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/be-in-loveWed, 13 May 2026 11:31:16 GMTIn Great Marriage, live a love story that takes your breath away; live the love story that brings you the most joy. In your marriage, encourage the development or growth of Being:

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]]><![CDATA[Check Out the New PI Website ]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/check-out-the-new-pi-websitehttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/check-out-the-new-pi-websiteMon, 11 May 2026 22:02:15 GMTCheckout our new ministry website here. (Yes, just click on here).

We are excited and thankful. Giddy might be a better word. The new website began as a prayerful discussion between our staff and included a lot of giant post-it notes all over my office. It has been a beautiful work in progress and the source of several late night brainstorming sessions. We will be continually rolling out new resources and services through it — including an ongoing way for new people to subscribe to Great Marriage.

There is a lot to explore and learn within the Priority Insight Ministry. God has blessed us immensely. Your support and encouragement means so much to us, so we would love to have your feedback.

And thanks for reading.

Blessings,

Jo

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]]><![CDATA[The List]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/the-list-3c1https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/the-list-3c1Sat, 09 May 2026 12:02:03 GMTWhen we work with couples, we often ask: What are the qualities of a Great Marriage? And we often have them engage in The List Exercise.

fountain pen on spiral book

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]]><![CDATA[Expectations]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/expectationshttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/expectationsWed, 06 May 2026 11:31:21 GMTExpectations get a bad rap.

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]]><![CDATA[Planting & Harvesting]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/planting-and-harvestinghttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/planting-and-harvestingSat, 02 May 2026 12:01:17 GMTHere’s a truth: One harvests what one plants.

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]]><![CDATA[Inspiration & Motivation]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/inspiration-and-motivationhttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/inspiration-and-motivationWed, 29 Apr 2026 11:01:32 GMTWhen John and I first met, two things were clear when it came to his interest and attention. First, I worked in a candy kitchen, and I smelled of homemade fudge and pralines most of the time. Second, I kept a writing journal and had dreams and goals related to it.

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]]><![CDATA[When, What, & How Much? ]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/when-what-and-how-muchhttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/when-what-and-how-muchMon, 27 Apr 2026 23:01:25 GMTThe 2/2/2 Approach of Getting Away Together is a tidbit of goodness I picked up working a marriage retreat.

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]]><![CDATA[Eggshells ]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/eggshellshttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/eggshellsSat, 18 Apr 2026 13:15:43 GMTEggshells make a poor floor.

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]]><![CDATA[Don't Excuse Hate]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/dont-excuse-hatehttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/dont-excuse-hateSat, 11 Apr 2026 12:00:57 GMTOne cannot engage in hateful behavior towards someone and expect that someone to feel cherished. Relationships just don’t work that way. Hateful behavior + loving behavior does not equal love. It equals confusion, chaos, insecurity, bitterness, judgement, and disconnection (not an inclusive list).

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]]><![CDATA[Find God's Beauty Within Your Marriage ]]>https://www.greatmarriage.com/p/find-gods-beauty-within-your-marriagehttps://www.greatmarriage.com/p/find-gods-beauty-within-your-marriageFri, 10 Apr 2026 16:02:40 GMT

Invite God into your marriage, and He will do beautiful things. Things only He can do within your relationship. No one is more dedicated to the health of your marriage than the Lord.

Be blessed,

Jo

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