Curiosity is Crucial

Most of us have sat in a restaurant with our spouse, even on a date, barely talking. In fact, if one looks around at couples dining on a Friday or Saturday night it’s relatively easy to determine the new couples from the couples who have been together a while by the amount of conversation at the table.

Why is that?

Because new couples are curious. They are eager to learn about one another. They want to hear about each other’s experiences, thoughts, and plans.

Without being intentionally curious, most couples drift toward statements rather than questions. We are lulled into self-focus by familiarity. After decades of marriage, we think we know everything there is no know about this person. So, we simply inform. We share facts. We “discuss” logistics. What questions we ask are easily answered with a word or a factual statement rather than actual dialogue.

I know. You’re tired. You’ve had a hard day at work, and you just don’t have the energy to work at conversation. We’ve all been there. It’s a legitimate concern – sometimes. The challenge is that our brains are incredibly efficient. They are always looking to conserve energy. It’s why it’s so easy to sit in the recliner rather than go to the gym when you get out of your workout routine. Your brain will quickly choose the path of least resistance as your behavioral default. So, once you justify these lame conversations they become your new norm.

NEWS FLASH: