It's Not You. It's a Choice.

Let’s go back a few years.

Who was the most dominate or difficult person in your childhood?

What did that look like?

How did you respond when that person was dominate or difficult?

Children find ways to lessen the impact of dominate or difficult people. Some children choose to lie to avoid potential consequences. Some withdraw or go silent. Some dig in and resist. Some go to great lengths to avoid. Some learn that crying may stop an onslaught. Some get angry. The list of potential responses is endless, though a child will repeat whatever seems to work.

The longer a child repeats a chosen behavior, the more reflexive it becomes. What was once an intentional choice becomes automatic. Years of repetition leads one to think, “It’s just my personality. It’s how I’m wired, or it’s who I am.” The choice becomes part of one’s identity…