Recently, I wrote on the magical moments typically experienced on one’s wedding day. Undoubtedly, in marriage, there is a place and a purpose for intentionally creating moments of magic. They will both build and buoy your relationship in the daily routine.
Today, I want to address the concept or habit of magical thinking in marriage, because it has the opposite effect. Magical thinking has the potential to both destroy and sink your marriage.
Magical thinking is my counseling term for wishing.
Wishing the bills would just go away or get paid in full. Wishing your spouse would be a better partner. Wishing you could start over, save more money, or live a different narrative. Magically thinking that everything will be alright even when it’s not. Magically thinking that it’s not necessary to make necessary changes. Magically expecting new results with old patterns. Wishing that one’s spouse would stop drinking too much, spending too much, or arguing so much. Wishing the house would clean itself. Wishing the children would just learn how to do things without being taught. Wishing that a problem would just go away. Magically thinking that doing the same behaviors will produce different results. Do you get the drift of magical thinking?
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