Orange Flavored Gatorade for the Win

In Great Marriage having needs is normal.

However, in both life and marriage, it can be hard to voice one’s needs. Many factors effect this hardship from upbringing and beliefs to communication skills and personality. Additionally, both autonomy and maturity play a role. Mostly, having needs can leave us feeling vulnerable, and vulnerability can feel awkward or risky.

Couples who want a Great Marriage embrace being vulnerable with one another. They remove the risk with reassurance, support, and the practice of meeting needs.

They anticipate that not only having needs, but also voicing them and expecting them to be met (within healthy reason) is part of their relationship.

What does within healthy reason mean? As a counselor, first I would answer, “Use common sense.” Second, I’ll state that within healthy reason is determined by the couple through ongoing communication and based on many factors.

Here are some examples from our story:

· When John and I were newlyweds, I got sick – like I need you to drive me to the doctor, pick up my prescription, and make sure there is Gatorade in the refrigerator sick. I was in need. John lovingly did all those things, but he missed the fun-fact that the only flavor Gatorade I like is orange flavored. So, guess what? He came home with some other flavor. All these years later, I still remember being a little unhappy about it. But, in our marriage and at that time, it was unreasonable to ask him to go back to the store.

· Two decades into marriage, I was working my way through some intense chemotherapy when I began to crave French fries from a popular fast-food restaurant. Sick for weeks, I could barely keep food down, and nothing apart from those fries appealed to my appetite. So, guess what?